Our IT joke v1

  • by Neil Carpenter
  • •
  • 20 May, 2017
  • •
1) God called a meeting with George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. "I've given you all the tools you needed to make a better world," says God. "But you've failed and I'm ending the world in two weeks." George Bush goes on TV and says " I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists . The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks." Tony Blair says " I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that god is annoyed. The really bad news is that he's going to destroy us all." Bill Gates calls his workers and says ,"I have good news and really good news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most powerful people in the world. The really good news is that we don't have to fix the bugs in the new windows package.".

Our IT Joke v5

by Neil Carpenter • 20 August 2018
Sophie woke up early at three am. She couldn't help it. She'd bought herself a new computer yesterday for her birthday, which was today. For the sake of the tradition, she hadn't  took the computer out of it's box yet. But she was dying to see it; so crawled out of bed and took it out of the box. She turned it on and began to use it...

Six hours later...

Sophie winced once again as her computer told her that her password was incorrect, she couldn't remember what she set it as. Sophie learnt a valuable lesson that day. Nowadays, she keeps her password as "incorrect", so if she forgets it, her computer says "Your password is incorrect."

Our IT Joke v4

by Neil Carpenter • 20 August 2018
Tom is trying to get his new computer working. He's having trouble so he calls over Harry, his friend: an IT specialist, to help give him a hand. Harry switches on the computer and then asks Tom if he wants the password protected. "Oh yes, I read about that in the manual. I think the password I'll have is "DaffyDuckBugsBunnyTomandJerry"." "That's a very long password," says Harry. "Yes," replies Tom. "But the manual says it has to be at least four characters."

Our IT Joke v3

by Neil Carpenter • 20 August 2018
Tech support to customer: "I need you to right click on the Open Desktop." "Okay," says the customer. Tech support: "Did you get a pop up menu?" "No," replies the customer. Tech support: "Okay. Right click again. Do you see a pop  up menu?" "Not at all." replies the customer. Tech support, "Okay, sir. Can you tell me what you've done up to this point?" "Sure." replies the customer, "You told me to "write" click, so I wrote down "click".

The planets (Earth)

by Neil Carpenter • 20 May 2017

Name : Earth, AKA the blue planet as 3/4 of the surface is blue!

When Earth was created : 4.6 billion years ago! Wow!

Moons : Earth has 1 moon, which the first person to step on, was the brilliant Neil Armstrong!!!

How was Earth created?????

There are many different theories to how Earth came to be. One of them is " The Big Bang ".The big Bang was an explosion which created our universe. The universe exploded outwards from a small, hot bubble . The Universe had expanded larger than a galaxy. As it cooled, particles within it joined and became planets and stars.   

What is Earth made of???????  

The layers of the Earth 

Earth is made of 100s of layers which us humans have grouped into 4 main groups : the crust ( the outer layers ), the mantle, the outer core and the inner core.

These layers are made of many different substances :  

-Rock

-Magma

-Clay

-Soil

-Water

-Iron

-Ice ... ( all of these substances apart from magma, create the crust / tectonic plates )

I hope you enjoyed my Profile of Earth !!!

 

The planets (Mars)

by Neil Carpenter • 20 May 2017

Name : Mars, AKA the red planet

When Mars was discovered : It is impossible to know when Mars was discovered since there were and are so many scientists and astronomers claiming to have discovered Mars. But scientists have figured that it has been documented for the last 4000 years!

How old is Mars : 4.503 billion years old! Wow!

How many moons does Mars have : Mars has 2 moons, Phobos and Deimios  ( meaning fear and terror )

Is there life on Mars????????   

Ah. The big question everybody is talking about . Along with " Can people live on Mars?" But that is for another day. Some scientists believe there could be life on Mars. Although it's too cold for life to appear on the surface, tiny organisms could exist in warmer pockets under ground.

Why is Mars red???????

Many years ago Mars wasn't red, it was greyish and made from metal, hence gravity on Mars. The metal started to rust and turned into iron oxide. Mars has little atmosphere and gets very cold. Like Earth, it has ice caps on it's north and south pole.

Water on Mars??????

It has been recently discovered by NASA that there is a evidence for a drinkable body of water on mars on the north pole ice cap.

                                                                                                                                        

Our IT joke v2

by Neil Carpenter • 20 May 2017
Personally, this is my favourite IT joke. If I like it, I'm pretty sure you will too. Enjoy!!!!!!!!! 1) A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down his door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo by his side. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle- " Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat ".
Show More